AJ Files 9.12.08

The Web Site we talked about was www.gotateenager.org.uk . To use the "dictionary" we referenced click on "Jargon Buster." 


STUPID VICTIM #4-0429-203942
It's like the internet...only live!  A Buffalo Grove, Illinois woman was
defrauded out of $9,000 by two con artists who told her they had a winning
lottery ticket and needed help cashing it. Police said the 57-year-old victim
was approached Monday while shopping at Wal-Mart. Two women told the victim that
they were in the country illegally and couldn't collect on the ticket
themselves. In return they would give the victim $40,000, said Buffalo Grove
police Cmdr. Steve Husak. Outside the store, one of the women called a phone
number, then told the victim that they needed $20,000 to cash the ticket. The
victim drove the two to her house and got $4,000. She then drove to her bank,
and withdrew an additional $5,000. She put the money in a purse and gave it to
the women.  The two then asked to be driven to a local Walgreens. At the store,
the victim became suspicious and asked for her purse back.  She got it back, but
it was stuff with paper rather than money, but the women had left the scene.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-buffalo-scam-nwblotter-both-sep10,0
,176306.story

TEACHER UNKNOWINGLY EXPOSES HIS PORN HABITS IN CLASS
Phoenix police are investigating a Phoenix, Arizona photography teacher after
some high school students reported that he displayed pornographic videos during
class. Students say that they were given a lesson on the overhead projector and
then told to work on an assignment.  The teacher then returned to his desk and
started to work on his computer. Evidently, the Aracadia High School teacher,
forgot that his computer was still hooked up to the projector when he started to
surf some porn.  Students said six different "torture porn" videos were played. 
The students said they did try to signal the teacher but he never looked up from
his computer and "seemed to be all into it" said the students. Some students
wondered how many times the teacher may have viewed pornography before without
them knowing and thought it was just gross. A letter sent home to parents stated
that "the teacher was placed immediately on administrative leave and the matter
was referred to the district office for a full investigation. His name has been
withheld pending possible charges.
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/17445706/detail.html

MAN COLLIDES WITH BEAR AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT
A 57-year-old Missoula, Montana man says he is lucky to be alive after
accidentally crashing his bicycle into the side of a wild bear. Middle school
teacher, Jim Litz, said he often seeing bears during his daily commute along an
area dirt road, however, on this communte, he said he didn't have time to avoid
a large bear that ran across the road. According to Thursday's "The Missoulian"
Litz didn't even have time to hit his breaks. The teacher said the impact
flipped him off his bike and the bear began clawing at him apparently in
confusion and anger. That attack left Litz with scratches and bruises along most
of his body. While Litz admits to being sore and a bit clawed up following the
unexpected crash, he says he is lucky to have survived the incident. "I was
lucky. I was truly lucky, because I accosted the bear and he let me live."
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/09/11/Montana
_man_crashed_bike_into_wild_bear/UPI-63211221157906/

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According to the national 2008 Weber Tailgating Study...

29% say they hope to do some tailgating this football season
(down from 37% last year)

Loss of interest in parking lot partying is blamed on:
27% higher cost of fuel
18% rising cost of game/event tickets
17% won't be having season tickets this year
14% rising cost of food

Of those who do tailgate in the parking lot:

68% always BBQ
64% of those who bought grills this year, did so specifically to go tailgating

Of those who plan to tailgate as often as possible...

24% prefer "tailgating food over stadium restaurant / concession food"
23% plan on going to more sporting events
16% love to tailgate
15% tailgate food costs less than stadium/concession food

62% say they use a charcoal grill
45% use a gas grill
 9% use a smoker
 6% use an electric grill

Top 4 grilling accessories

91% tong
80% spatula
70% grill brush
63% mitt

The top four grilling accessories tailgaters use are tongs (91 percent), a
spatula (80 percent), a grill brush (70 percent), and a mitt (63 percent).

Favorite foods to grill:

57% hamburgers
42% brats/sausages
39% chicken
39% steak

44% are grilling more veggies
36% are grilling leaner meats
31% are grilling more poulty
20% are grilling more fish

What do tailgaters drink"

68% beer
52% soda
42% water
31% iced tea
22% wine

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The Most Popular Single Ever In The History of the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.

1. Chubby Checker - "The Twist"
2. Santana - "Smooth"
3. Bobby Darin - "Mack The Knife"
4. LeAnn Rimes - "How Do I Live"
5. Los Del Rio - "Macarena"
6. Olivia Newton-John - "Physical"
7. Debby Boone - "You Light Up My Life:
8. Beatles - "Hey Jude"
9. Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"
10.Toni Braxton - "Un-break My Heart"

Geoff Mayfield, the director of charts at Billboard magazine, says, "This is
simply a chronicle of how each of these songs performed in their era on the Hot
100. We're not saying these are the most memorable songs of your life. That
would be something that's almost impossible to determine. Everyone has a
subjective frame of reference."

Billboard's all-time Hot 100 Artists

1.  Beatles
2.  Madonna,
3.  Elton John,
4.  Elvis Presley,
5.  Stevie Wonder,
6.  Mariah Carey,
7.  Janet Jackson,
8.  Michael Jackson,
9.  Whitney Houston
10. Rolling Stones.

Most Number One's

1. Beatles - 20
2. Mariah Carey - 18
3. Michael Jackson - 13
4. Madonna - 12
5. Supremes - 12
6. Whitney Houston - 11
7. Janet Jackson - 10
8. Stevie Wonder - 10
9. Bee Gees/Elton John/Paul McCartney Wings - 9
10 Rolling Stones/Usher - 8

Here are todays interesting and odd stories that may or may not have made it onto the show:

CLUBS AND BALLS FOR THE TROOPS
Bill Ott and Dr. Frank Benningfield have a problem. The two avid golfers thought they would bring a bit of home to the troops by gathering up some golf clubs and a few balls for the men and women serving in Iraq or Afghanistan.  The good news, was that they were very successful in raising the equipment, in fact, the two are now sitting on two tons of golf balls (that’s 40,000 balls) and nearly 1,000 Nike, Ping and Taylor-made clubs in two storage lockers.   The bad news is, they don't have any way to get the balls overseas without forking over a huge amount of money. Benningfield contacted the Illinois National Guard thinking the large C-130s stationed at the Greater Peoria Regional Airport would be a good way to take the items overseas. That idea got nixed a few months ago when a letter came back saying the military doesn’t do that. Benningfield remains undaunted when pressed about sending the items overseas.He’s contacted various shipping companies, called local companies and even got in touch with someone at the PGA, all in the hope of finding a way to make it happen.
(Illini Golf Headquarters/Bill Ott (309) 685-4653/stations only)
http://www.pjstar.com/news/x1056109199/Operation-Sandtrap-hits-snag

PEARL DISCOVERY MAY CREATE ****SS BOOK OF RECORDS
A Lebanese woman made a startling discovery when she opened an oyster she was preparing for dinner. Amal Salha, 50, said she was helping out her son in his restaurant on the waterfront in the southern port of Tyre, when she opened an oyster and found 26 various sized pearls nestled inside. "It was so beautiful. It looked like a bunch of grapes." she said.  Pearl oysters are unrelated to the oysters normally eaten in Europe but Salha said pearl oysters are still popular with the French and Italian soldiers serving with the UN peacekeeping force deployed in south Lebanon. "Generally we find one or two pearls but 26 is very rare," said Salha's husband, Raymond, adding that the couple hoped their find would merit an entry in the ****ss Book of Records. http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080909172541.b0pkz03b&show_article=1


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FORBES' TOP TEN OVERPAID ACTORS/ACTRESSES

1. Nicole Kidman: According to our second annual ranking of the most (and least) bankable actors in Hollywood, Kidman's films earn a mere $1 for every dollar Kidman was paid, compared with $8 in 2007. The Invasion, a second remake of the 1956 classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers, actually lost $2.68 for every dollar Kidman earned.

2. Jennifer Garner  For every dollar she was paid, Garner's movies averaged $3.60
3. Tom Cruise     $4.00
4. Cameron Diaz   $4.00
5. Jennifer Lopez $4.10
6. Jim Carrey     $4.11
7. Nicolas Cage   $4.16
8. Drew Barrymore $4.38
9. Will Ferrell   $4.67
10. Cate Blancett $4.97

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Parade magazine released a list of the most generous celebrities..those
giving the most to charity...There's Oprah, and then, there's everybody
else..

1.  Oprah Winfrey $50.2 million
2.  Herb Alpert $13 million
3.  Barbara Streisand $11 million
4.  Paul Newman $10 million
5.  Mel Gibson $9.9 million
6.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie $8.4 million
7.  Lance Armstrong $5 million
7.  Michael Jordan $5 million
7.  Eric Lindros $5 million

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Up Your On-Line Dating Game with Short Headlines

True.com

How do you write a headline that will really get you noticed on a dating site?

Why is a headline important? When other members run a search, they have three ways to get a quick first impression of you:

photo

screen name

headline

Everybody has a screen name. Smart people have a nice smiley photo. But when it comes to headlines, lots of people are just blank, and they're missing a great opportunity to get more clicks.

I know, I know: It's intimidating to try to write a sentence that sums up your essence. Members ask me: "what if I'm not clever enough?" or "what if nobody thinks I'm funny?" or "what if I don't know the right grammar for what I want to say?"

So here's the secret to a great headline. If you're not a born writer, try making three lists:

The first list should contain 10 words that describe your best personality traits — any 10 words (as long as they're printable and not obscene!) Examples: happy, funny, cheerful, goofy, dreamy, silly, spicy, content, laughing, smiling, sassy, saucy, etc. Need ideas? Try www.visualthesaurus.com or another online thesaurus or dictionary.

The second list should contain 10 words about your lifestyle or job. Examples: comfortable, modest, rich, steady, hard-working, focused, technical, ever-changing, mile-a-minute, etc.

The third list should contain 10 words that describe a hobby or enjoyable or proud part of your life. Examples: fisherman, singer, knitter, mountain-biker, Italian, 10k-runner, poodle owner, championship golfer, old-movie lover etc.

Now for the fun part: Line the three lists up next to one another and read the words across the rows. The result should be several options for a three-word headline:

happy	comfortable	fisherman
funny	modest	singer
sassy	rich	knitter
goofy	steady	reader
dreamy	hard-working	mountain-biker
silly	focused	Italian
spicy	technical	marathon-runner
clever	ever-changing	dog lover
content	mile-a-minute	golfer
laughing	casual	movie fan

If you don't like the way any of the word combinations line up, rearrange them — or come up with new words. Your headline could end up as a fun word combo.

(just a suggestion..guys should try "I Am RICH", woman go with "I throw down. -AJ)

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The Ultimate life saver for men PMSbuddy.com (Two words: Thank you. -AJ)

http://pmsbuddy.com

PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on "that time of the month" - when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all.

For women, this is a great way to give people in your life a heads-up of when you might be feeling a bit irritable without having an awkward conversation.

What's more, we will not only keep you informed, but will give you some free advice on what to do about it. With PMSBuddy.com, there is no reason to ever be blindsided by PMS again.

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Boy, 5, blew $100,000 at shops

A five-year-old boy went on a $100,000 shopping spree after finding a fortune in cash in his dad's safe.

The boy took a gang of friends to a shopping mall and blew the lot on clothes, toys, bicycles, sweets, computers and games.

His father Slobodan Markovic, a Serbian businessman, kept the money in a safe at home, only realised what had happened when his son and his friends came home with dozens of shopping bags.

He said: "I must have forgotten to lock the safe and he just saw the money and took it. I have asked the police to investigate because it is unbelievable that the shop owners let such a young boy do this." (How about "it's unbelievable that you left the safe open and didn't keep an eye on your 5 year old?-AJ)

A Belgrade police spokesman confirmed they are investigating Djodja Markovic's spending spree.

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Plastic Surgeons Offer Fix For Back Rolls (Does this mean the end of muffin tops?-AJ)

19,500 Had Surgery In 2007

www.thedenverchannel.com

Plastic surgeons said in a news release that a new procedure called a back lift can help people get rid of bulging skin and bumps on their backs.

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons said that even very fit patients can have rolls from extra aging skin that cannot be reduced through exercise.

"For those who desire to wear form-fitting outfits, this procedure eliminates the problem," said Dr. Joseph Hunstad.

His study followed seven patients who had the procedure, in which skin is removed from the back -- sometimes a gap of 10 inches -- and then reconnected. The scar is meant to go under where a bra rests. All seven women were happy with the results, according to the news release.

The society said that more than 19,500 back lifts were performed in 2007.

ODDEST BOOK TITLE CONTEST
Believe it or not, there is an annual contest to name the book with the oddest title from the past 30 years. After thousands of votes, Bookseller Magazine, announced the book with the oddest title was "Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers." The book is a comprehensive record of Greek postal routes by Derek Willan.   It beat "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" and "How To Avoid Huge Ships" which came in second and third places. The pre-game favorite was the prize's first ever recipient, "Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice," said Horace Bent, custodian of the annual Diagram Prize.  Gary Leon Hill's "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" topped the polls for over three weeks. Another early favorite "How To Bombproof Your Horse" also failed to feature in the final count. The prize was dreamed up initially at the 1978 Frankfurt Book Fair as a way of avoiding boredom. It has since become an annual star. Last year's winner was "If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080906/od_nm/britain_
book_odd_dc;_ylt=AuIpJbQWHR6Rlx8p7Po7xtASH9EA
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STUPID CRIMINAL #820-920492-2
When you've got a rifle, a live grenade, pistol, ammunition and other "items of concern" as police call them, don't stop anywhere in Washington DC and ask a cop for directions to the Capitol Building.  Christopher Shelton Timmons, 27, was in front of the Library of Congress and did exactly that.  He was detained and then arrested when the officer spied a rifle case in the car. While streets were cordonned off, a search of the Jeep Cherokee turned up a rifle, a live grenade, a pistol, ammunition, magazines with ammunition in them and several other items. The FBI, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives and District of Columbia police assisted in the investigation.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/09/05/national/w110314D89.DTL&tsp=1
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MAN SHOOTS WOMAN WHO WOULDN'T GIVE HER PHONE NUMBER
Broward County Florida police are looking for a man who they say shot a woman after she refused to give him her phone number. According to The Sun-Sentinel, Vernice Morris, 23, was leaving a club when a man she didn't know pulled up to her in a black Lexus SUV and asked for her phone number. When she refused, the man followed her to where her car was parked and asked again for her number. Morris still said no. She told police that he said he was insulted, and bragged to her about other cars he had.  He then told her that "people like you, I put a gunshot in your chest."  Morris told police she took off in her Acura Sedan and the man followed and pulled up next to her at a stoplight.  He pulled out a gun and shot her twice...once in the stomach and once in the wrist.  Shortly after, she lost control of her vehicle and crashed the car.  Paramedics took her to the hospital. The suspect was driving a 2007 or 2008 black Lexus RX 350 SUV and police consider him armed and dangerous.  
http://www.wayodd.com/south-florida-woman-shot-twice
-after-refusing-to-give-out-her-phone-number/v/9590/

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A Lot of Us Would Risk our Own Lives for our Pets!

47% of Americans would refuse rescue from a hurricane if it meant leaving without their family pet.

72% agreed that there should be formal evacuation plans for pets.

Number of animals rescued during Hurricane Katrina: 10,000

Number of animals housed during Hurricane Fay: 1,000

People with children were 62% more likely to leave their pet and evacuate than those without children.

45% said animals should be rescued only after all humans have been brought to safety.

34% said animals could be rescued along with humans "if time and space permits."

16% said animals and humans should be considered equals and pets should be "rescued at all costs."

Dog owners were 41% more likely than cat owners to say that pets should be rescued at all costs when rescuers encounter them.

(Source: A 2007 survey by the American Humane Association)
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The State Fair in Texas fries even mor crap that San Diego's Fair!
Big Tex Choice Awards!

These are the best of the foods to be offered at this year's Texas State Fair.

Best taste: Chicken-Fried Bacon
Most creative: Fried Banana Split

Other finalists

Texas Fried Jelly Bellys
Deep Fried S'mores
Fried pineapple
Fried Chocolate Truffles
Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Waffle Balls
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Here's What the People WHo Don't Need Any Free Stuff got in thier VMA Gift Bags:

The Official Gift Bag of the 2008 VMAs was unveiled at the Paramount Studios. The bags are filled with more than $15,000 worth of glittering jewelry, one-of-a-kind fashions, high-tech gizmos, all-inclusive vacation packages and more cosmetic products than anyone would use in two lifetimes.

Complimentary membership to the Best of Everything's Wish Fulfillment Services to book a trip  or just cash in your free four-night, five-day stay at the Bungalows resort at Cofresi Beach in the Dominican Republic.

Jour & Nuit crystal-strap sandals
Andy Warhol watche
Ugo Cacciatore pendant
Clothing from:
Fendi, Qi Cashmere, Fonzworth loves cashmere, Kings of Glory, Queens of Glory,
Gypsy 05, Five Four Clothing and Taverniti So Denim.
Assortment of hairproducts
Baby Quasar personal light theay
Mp3 player from Rhapsody
Ultrasone speakers
Rock Band 2
Astrology reading by Gahl Sasson
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Another List San Diego Should Have Ranked Higher On!:
Forbe's just released their Best Cities for Singles list..Here's the Top 20

   1. Atlanta
   2. San Francisco
   3. Dallas
   3. Minneapolis
   5. Washington D.C.
   6. Seattle
   7. Boston
   8. New York City
   9. Orlando
  10. Phoenix
  11. Chicago
  11. Denver-Aurora
  13. Miami
  14. Austin
  15. San Antonio
  16. Los Angeles
  17. Houston
  18. Charlotte
  19. San Diego
  20. St. Louis

More at http://www.forbes.com/2008/09/04/best-cities-singles-forbeslife-singles08-cx_ee_0904singles_land.html
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Doctor Fired for Allegedly Drinking on the Job

BOSTON (AP) - A Massachusetts doctor has been fired and lost the right to renew his medical license for allegedly trying to give a pregnant woman an epidural while drunk.

The state Board of Registration in Medicine says 39-year-old Robert Dolan was drinking from a bottle of bourbon he brought to work when he was called to perform the procedure at Caritas St. Elizabeth's Medical Center last November.

Dolan, an anesthesiologist, called another resident for help, who noticed he appeared drunk. The attending physician then called security. He was fired by the hospital a few days later.

Dolan's license to practice medicine lapsed in January and he will not be allowed to renew it unless he can stay sober for 18 months.

The board said Dolan accepted its version of events.

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Married Women Hate Sex

Sexless marriage: Millions of moms are in one, yet it's taboo to talk about it. Momlogic asked 2,500 married women to reveal the dirty details about their sex lives after marriage and we were shocked by what we found--half found sex to be a depressing, embarrassing or a hassle!  PLUS: Three moms and a deprived husband share their stories of sexless marriage. AND: Expert advice for spicing up your relationship.

The most eye-opening findings:

50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle: We also found out that although 77% of the women claim their sex life is somewhat to very important to them, 54% of married women admit they're the ones who don't want to have sex.

According to 29% of married women, they're just too tired: Not too surprising--at least to those of us with young kids-- that this was the main reason women say they don't want to have sex.

What would women rather do than have sex?

• 24% would rather take a bubble bath.

• 26% would rather read a book.

Also, according to our survey:

• 23% of the women who have sex do it because they love their husbands and want to make him happy.

• 49% of the women have sex because they want it.

• 26% of the women surveyed say their sex lives took a turn for the worst after they had children.

Even momogic contributor and sex therapist Dr. Shannon Fox was surprised by the results of our survey. "It is sad to see that half of the women polled described their sex lives as depressing, embarrassing or a hassle. That is a lot of unhappy women! That means that even the women who are having sex more often aren't happy with the quality of the sex they are having."

But on the flip side, although things look bleak when it comes to married sex, Dr. Fox says, "77% say of the women say that their sex life is important. I've found that the husbands in sexless marriages are often shocked to discover that their wives think sex is important. Spouses in sexless marriages often feel neglected and that their desires are unimportant to their mates."

Dr. Fox adds, "It is not surprising to see that the frequency of sex decreased for many couples after the birth of their first child. Many women report less opportunity for sex, dislike for their post-baby bodies and sheer exhaustion as the main killers of their sex lives after children."

According to statistics, living in a sexless marriage is VERY common; however, for some reason, it is still one of the most taboo subjects around. But we found three moms who invited us into their homes (and marriages) and shared their own experiences of being in a sexless marriage. And it's not all what you'd think...

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If your brother was famous and you had embarrassing photos, you would:

www.buzzdash.com

Post them on your web page 2%

Sell them to the Enquirer      4%

Sell them to your brother      22%

Destroy them                         53%

Other                                      19%

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WHEN THE WHIP COMES DOWN

The twenty-five most emasculated, disempowered, henpecked husbands on the planet

men.style.com

1. Guy Ritchie

After the tough-talking shoot-’em-up Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels made him famous, the British director married long-in-the-tooth pop star Madonna and collaborated with her on a train wreck of a shipwreck comedy called Swept Away. The director gets extra lashes for embracing his wife’s trendy spiritual endeavors, reportedly sacrificing what’s left of his career cred on a yet-to-be-released documentary on Kabbalah. But the real reason he tops the list?

2. Doug Christie

A running joke among NBA fans holds that giving a friend a jersey emblazoned with the Sacramento Kings’ number 13 is a none too subtle indication that your buddy is terminally whipped. The swingman’s wife, Jackie, followed him on the road, where in a typical game she was treated to as many as fifty hand signals of love and affirmation. In 2002 his public subjugation was celebrated in the sports pages of The New York Times, where Christie boasted: “Every conversation I’ve ever had with a woman since we’ve been married, besides my wife, she knows about.”

3. Eminem

You know a guy’s in trouble when he marries the woman he’s spent years openly fantasizing about killing, then he goes and marries her again.

4. Bill Gates

Once upon a time, the Microsoft founder was a rapacious evil billionaire in the Montgomery Burns mold. Enter his wife, Melinda, and suddenly Mr. Moneybucks is giving it all away through their Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Instead of spending his money on toys like personal rocket ships, Gates is now doling out his savings around the globe. Maybe it’s his operating system: Before marrying Melinda in 1994, Gates sought permission from his ex, Ann Winblad.

5. Josh Kelley

Marrying Knocked Up star Katherine Heigl might do wonders for the career of this James Blunt wannabe—she did appear in Kelley’s video—but since when did weddings become promotional events? Uh, when the bride’s got a big wedding-themed  movie to carry. These striving newlyweds not only provided pictures of the big day to OK! magazine but were married three weeks before 27 Dresses tanked at the box office. At least the marriage outlasted the movie.

6. Marc Anthony

“She’s always been the boss!” the lizardy Latin singer told People magazine about his El Cantante costar and producer, wife Jennifer Lopez. “That’s the first thing a man has to know.… Absolutely, no question about it.” At least Anthony is a man of his word: In 2007 the Grammy winner set out on tour with his new wife, performing as her opening act.

7. Kurt Warner

The ex-Marine and born-again Christian—that’s Mrs. Warner, by the way—has raised the ire of NFL fans with her unwelcome pronouncements on her husband’s career, her aggressive evangelism, and her mushy postgame kisses. Fans have compared Brenda to Yoko Ono and Gozer from Ghostbusters, but her MVP remains loyal to a fault. When the journeyman QB learned he’d be playing in the Pro Bowl, he sent her a bunch of roses with a note reading “This is a great day for me, but it would mean nothing without you there to share it.” Sheds some light on that groin pull in 2005, doesn’t it?

8. Rupert Murdoch

Wendi Deng was just another twentysomething MBA (and thirty-eight years his junior) when she netted the Aussie billionaire master of the universe, whom she seems to enjoy belittling in public. According to New York magazine, she’s said to have revealed that he uses Viagra (but doesn’t need it) and once asked him in front of colleagues, “Are you going deaf, old man?” In January, Deng got her mighty mogul to play waiter at a women’s-empowerment event in Davos, Switzerland, much to the amusement of Murdoch watchers the world over. Then again, waiting on Deng has helped Murdoch gain access to the multibillion-dollar Chinese-media market, so who’s using whom?

9. Howard Stern

Not only did the self-styled King of All Media break his promise to never remarry when he got engaged to Beth Ostrosky in 2007, but he also reportedly gushed, “I love you. You’re everything to me. The Sirius-radio host has given over longer and longer segments of his show to coo to his beloved and promote her spaying, neutering, and pet-adoption crusade.

10. Ashton Kutcher

Speaking of his cougar wife, Demi Moore, the ever articulate Punk’d auteur told an interviewer, “I can describe my wife in two words. She’s awesome.” He also gushed, “Do we want to have more kids? I don’t know. I’m not really in charge of all that.” Seeing as how his wife is 45, we assume a fertility specialist is the one who’ll ultimately decide.

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Handle This: Nine Ways To Ditch A Bad Date

www.thefrisky.com

When “It’s just one drink” turns into “I would rather have a root canal than another martini with you”, it’s time to devise a plan to ditch your dead-end date - fast. While making a swift departure without coming off as a total jerk is tough, it is possible as long as you’ve got a well-formulated plan, says Yvonne Rice, former dating agency owner and author of Finding “The One”: A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You. “Because most people don’t take rejection well,” she explains, “not putting careful thought into how you’ll exit your bad date runs you the risk of sparking the ‘nasty’ in the date you’re ditching.” For Rice’s suggestions on how to escape a bad date with your reputation – and your date’s dignity – intact, read on…

Spill It
At a bar, coffee shop or restaurant? “Accidentally” spill your entire drink in your lap so you’ll have to leave and get out of your wet clothes. A word of warning here: make sure whatever you’ve been guzzling isn’t boiling hot. You don’t want Bad Date coming to the emergency room with you because you’ve sustained 3rd degree burns on you privates.

Claim A Curfew
It worked in high school, and believe it or not, this evergreen get-out-of-jail-free card still works when you’re an adult. If your date’s going nowhere fast, bow out early with the claim that your roommate, pet or, if you have one, child is expecting you home pronto.

Use A Lifeline
It’s never a bad idea to have a friend text you on your cell phone 30 minutes into your date. If everything’s going great, then fantastic – you can text back that you’ve likely met your future spouse. If not, however, the door’s open for you to make an excellent case for removing yourself from the date. Think “Oh no! My best friend’s car broke down and I have to pick her up!” or “My younger brother’s watching my dog and apparently, Fido just ate an entire bag of his Doritos - bag and all!” Who’s gonna argue with your needing to make a quick departure to remedy situations like those?

Remember That Opposites Don’t Always Attract
If you’re positive there’s no future between you and your date, begin steering your conversation in a direction that’s sure to make that clear to him or her as well. If he reveals a passionate support for John McCain, note that you’ve donated as much as legally allowed to the Obama campaign. She’s a strict vegetarian? Wax poetic about your last birthday dinner – and the amazing porterhouses - at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Once your date realizes the two of you are like oil and water, it should be easy to swiftly end the evening.

Fake An Illness
If you’re itching to extricate yourself from a nightmare of a date, muster up your best Academy Award-winning performance and play sick. Start rubbing your head and referencing your terrible migraines or, for a less subtle approach, start coughing uncontrollably. For a truly fail-safe strategy, rush to the bathroom every five minutes or so. It won’t take long for your date to get the hint that you’re sick, and he or she will probably be happy to see you go.

Get Lost
At a crowded club, play or movie with a dead-end suitor? Excuse yourself for a bathroom break and then fail to find your way back to your date. If he or she calls after your date and asks what happened, explain that you couldn’t get cell reception and were trying to locate your spot among the masses, to no avail.

Be “On Call”
If you work or volunteer in a shift work or service-type profession, this plan of attack can be a perfect course of action. If you’re certain early on into your date that it’s going nowhere, tell your date that just before the two of you met up you received a call from a client that you’ve been “called in” or were asked to fill in at short notice. Such a shame - you only have time to squeeze in one quick coffee with your date before dashing off!

Run Into An Old Friend
If you’re at a bar or a coffee shop, offer to go and buy the next round of drinks. Once you leave your date, strike up a conversation with someone else at the bar, and keep talking to your new best friend for as long as you possibly can. When you get back to the table where your date is, say, “You’ll never believe who I just ran into – this old friend of mine from middle school!” Then glance down at your watch and exclaim, “Wow, is it that time already? I need to go – got to wake up early tomorrow morning!”

Be Honest
If your date is boring you to your back teeth, just be polite and end it with a kind yet direct “I’m happy to have met you, yet I don’t see a future together for us.” Most people will get the “Thanks, but, no thanks” message and appreciate your honesty. 

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Text message snoop? Lovers beware!

Survey: One in three cell users snoop, consequences can be heart-breaking

today.msnbc.msn.com

Can't help checking your partner's text messages on the sly? You're not alone, with an Australian survey showing one in three mobile phone users are text message snoops, and the consequences can often be heart-breaking.

The online survey, conducted for telecoms service provider Virgin Mobile Australia, shows that women are more likely than men to check their partner's phone in secret.

It also revealed that 73 percent of these sneaky text checkers have found out things they later wished they hadn't, and 10 percent ended their relationship because of SMS snooping.

Slightly more than 500 mobile phone users in Australia aged between 18 and 29 were polled by a market research firm in July.

The survey found that 60 percent spy on text messages when their partner is in the shower, while just over 41 percent do it when they are in the same room.

Nearly 45 percent said they had discovered flirtatious or sexual texts, ranging from the harmless to the graphic.

"With so many modes of communication available these days, it's difficult to keep track of your partner's whereabouts or who they're chatting to and when," Virgin Mobile quoted author and relationship expert Samantha Brett as saying.

"Flirting is age old, but the fact that it can now be tracked on your phone makes a nervous partner a paranoid text-checker."

Brett advised SMS snoops to stop. "If you suspect that your partner is up to something, talk about it. Text checking can turn into a vicious cycle, and it can easily be avoided," she added.

http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=5727571fy

Here is your daily dose of crazy stories that may or may not make it onto today's show:

Holiday bar cocktail turned me into elephant woman

Mirrornews

Terrified Corinne Coyle had to be rushed to hospital when her head and face swelled up - after she took a few sips of an exotic cocktail at a holiday bar.

Corinne Coyle, 19, had swallowed about a third of the Headf****r cocktail, a mix of Baileys, tequila, absinthe, ouzo, vodka, cider, gin, chilli powder and a "secret ingredient," when it triggered an alarming allergic reaction.

As the swelling grew, horrified Corinne and a friend took a taxi to a hospital in Crete's Malia resort and worried doctors immediately put her on a drip and a course of tablets.

From her hospital bed she sent pictures of her distorted features by mobile phone to horrified mum Fiona back in Middlesbrough.

Fiona said yesterday: "When I saw the photos I couldn't even recognise my own daughter. She couldn't see out of her right eye because of the swelling."

Corinne is now back home where she is recovering.

TATTOOED PIGS ON DISPLAY IN CHINA
An artist in China is preparing to exhibit pigs tattooed with Louis Vitton logos and designs in a piece he calls, "Art Farm." Wim Delvoye, a Belgian living in Beijing, raised and tattooed the eight pigs himself when they were just babies.  The Shanghai Exhibition Center has agreed to put the pigs on display in a temporary pig pen for the upcoming 2008 Contemporary Art Exhibition, on condition the pigs don't create an unpleasant odor. "Seeing the art pieces growing along with the pigs was an amazing thing," he said. A spokeswoman for the New Beijing Gallery said the live pigs were not for sale, but their skins would later be sold for about $60,000 each. During the exhibition period, strong sunscreen lotion must be applied to all the pigs to avoid their getting sunburned in the open air. http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2994390.html

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COCKTAIL CAUSES TEENS FACE TO BLOW UP
A teenager has vowed never to drink again after a vacation cocktail caused her head to swell to the size of a soccer ball. Corinne Coyle reacted to a drink that consisted of Baileys, chili, tequila, absinthe, ouzo, vodka, cider and gin. The 19-year-old spent two days in a hospital in the Greek resort of Malia after her face blew up to the size of a soccer ball. After returning home she has been treated at the Middlesbrough hospital where doctors said they did not know if her face will ever return to normal. Doctors in Greece said the swelling was caused by a chemical reaction and they had seen a similar incident in the past couple of weeks. She has vowed never to touch alcohol again.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tees/7598614.stm

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8 YEAR OLD BUSTED FOR PASSING FAKE TWENTIES
Authorities say an 8-year-old boy was handing out hundreds of dollars in fake $20 bills at an Ocala, Florida elementary school. School officials reported the boy to police on Tuesday. The fake bills were discovered when one child tried to use one of the bills to pay for lunch. An administrator then tracked down several other students with fake bills who all identified the boy. The boy, who was not identified, was turned over to the Department of Children and Families after authorities learned his guardians had warrants for their arrest. In all, the child had passed out over $880 in fake bills. Police say they don't know who produced the fake currency.
http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/09/04/1827421-boy-doles-out-hundreds-of-fake-20-bills-at-school

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Microsoft Outlook Web Access
BILL GATES RULES FOR LIFE

1. Life is not fair, get used to it.

2. The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you
to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

3. You will not make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't
be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.

4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He
doesn't have tenure.

5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a
different word for burger-flipping-they called it opportunity.

6. If you mess up, it's not your parents fault, so don't whine about your
mistakes, learn from them.

7. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the
rainforest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
"delousing" the closet in your own room.

8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has
not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they'll give you
as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

9. Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very
few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on
your own time.

10. Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to
leave the coffee shop and go to their job.

11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are that you'll end up working for one.

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Yes, I found ANOTHER odd idea for a "better" alarm clock...this one's actually pretty cool!:

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Son Spots Dad on TV, 5 Years After Family ‘Cremated’ Him

Foxnews.com

Five years after a British man and his family cremated and held a wake for his dad, John Renehan spotted his father on television, alive.

Renehan’s father, John Delaney, disappeared in 2000, the Daily Mail reported. When police found a decomposed body in April 2003, wearing similar clothes and with similar wounds to Delaney, they declared it was him.

A coroner confirmed the police findings and Renehan paid for a cremation and wake, the Mail reported. He is now demanding an apology from police for the trauma he suffered believing his dad was dead.

Turns out 71-year-old Delaney had been in a care facility since 2000, after suffering a head injury and memory loss, the Mail reported. Unable to give any clues as to his identity, Delaney was given the name David Harrison and placed in a home.

In April Delaney was featured on a TV show about missing persons.

By coincidence, Renehan was watching and recognized his dad. DNA tests confirmed the link and the pair had an emotional reunion two weeks ago, the Mail reported.

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Today's "Sweet Spot":

www.makemebabies.com

Couples spend hours discussing what their baby would look like. Will the baby look more like her mom or dad? Studying family photo albums and trying to collate pictures could help concerned couples during the last century. Today, there is a better, simpler and more precise alternative.

Baby Morphing, a new technology developed by Luxand, helps parents, couples and friends to see what their baby would look like based on their pictures alone. The technology only needs photos of the couple’s faces to generate a quality picture of their baby. The technology makes it really easy for couples to create and share babies’ pictures. Yet, Baby Morphing does not stop there, and allows making pictures of babies by taking only one photograph and mixing it with a stock photo of a celebrity or a member of a dating site, depending on the application.

MakeMeBabies' unique technology will show you exactly (well... almost exactly...) what your future child with another person will look like!

We take both your photos, do some magic calculations, and congratulations! You have a new baby!

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ME date HIM? What were you thinking?

CNN-A bad fix-up can be torture for all.

Experts say these pitfalls are common to the well-meaning amateur.

Janis Spindel, a professional matchmaker in New York City who says she's connected nearly 1,000 couples, explains: "Most people introduce people just because he's not hitched, she's not hitched, he's Christian, she's Christian. She has a pulse? He needs a date! They should go out and they'll have a good time."

Spindel, who charges between $25,000 and $100,000 per client to find a spouse, claims she can usually make a perfect match within 30 days.

Matchmaking, Spindel believes, is the "second oldest profession in the world," and she contends it's a skill you're either born with or you're not. She does research -- what are the person's hobbies? -- but in the end, she maintains it takes "some kind of clairvoyant intuition," a skill she says really can't be learned.

Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and author of several books on the history and science of love, says some are naturally better at matchmaking than others.

"A good matchmaker can size you up and figure out what you want -- and listen to what you want, too," says Fisher. Fisher is an adviser to dating site Chemistry.com and is licensed by the Matchmaking Institute, an association of professional couple-makers.

Successful fix-ups, Fisher believes, result from analyzing a complex mix of character, temperament and cultural traits, whereas amateurs are often "trying to give you what they want. It's not just looks or values or income or background or educational level. Anyone can match you by those things. There are many more subtle ways people are drawn to other people, and a good matchmaker can figure it all out without even knowing what they are doing."

Of course, there are not-so-subtle ways people are repulsed.

For Kristina Paider, the final straw on her date from hell arrived along with the bill: "He took out a fistful of coupons and a calculator and then told me exactly what I owed."

Want to play Cupid? These sites can get you started:

• GreatBoyfriends.com and GreatGirlfriends.com: Think your ex is wonderful even if he or she wasn't right for you? Write a profile here.

• Engage.com: This social network lets you introduce your single friends to one another and vote on who would be the best mate for whom.

• IsACatch.com: Allows singles to create "campaigns" for fabulous friends on the theory that it's easier to brag about someone else than about yourself.

• MatchmakingFriends.com: Friends can try to set up a date for their single pals, then keep scorecards to track how the dates went and which couples clicked.

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Seven ways to spot a cheating married man

(The Frisky) -- Back when our moms were on the market, they could tell right off the bat if the foxy soda jerk was unavailable because back then married men never went anywhere without their rings.

The pale band of skin is a sign he usually wears a band of gold on that left hand.

Not that a band of gold would necessarily keep a cad from straying (see also, "Mad Men's" Don Draper), but at least a lady could make an informed decision about whether or not she wanted to wander into "other woman" territory.

Nowadays, it's not so easy to tell who's taken. Lots of married men don't bother with rings and loads more just live with their significant others in a slightly more informal (though generally no less committed) cohabitation situation. I'll spare you the moralizing, but I'm here to tell you that being someone's girl on the side is a sucker's game.

So who's a lady to hit on? Not only is it harder to figure out who's on the market, a combination of factors -- namely the Internet and mobile phones -- have made it easier for the sneaky guy to disguise his relationship status. A reluctance to hand over the home digits used to be an immediate sign, but now everybody's got cell phones.

So here are some clues a woman on the prowl can look for:

1. The white stripe

There is possibly nothing cheesier on the planet than the married dude who slips his wedding ring into his pocket during a night out with the guys. Especially obvious during the summer months -- the pale white tan line is an obvious tell. Sure, you can let him buy you a drink, but wouldn't you rather bust his chops?

2. He's too nice

This is not a slam on genuinely sweet single guys out there, but it's a proven fact that men who are otherwise engaged are approximately a bazillion times nicer to women they're trying to cheat with. They're full of compliments, cocktails and crap.

3. The invisible man

Men who won't post a photo of their face with their online personal ad will say they're just trying to be discreet (wouldn't want anyone at work to find out!) but nine times out of ten the only person he's trying to hide from is the woman who wakes up next to him each morning.

4. Friend-free zone

Don't you find it odd that the only one of his "friends" you met is that creep who hit on you the minute your man went to the loo? That's probably because he's too scared to bring you around his normal friends, who will either scold him for cheating or blow his cover.

5. TXT NLY

He's in constant communication with you -- but only via text. When you call him at night, he doesn't pick up, instead texting back, "WUT UP?" WUT UP is that he's sitting next to his real girlfriend or wife.

6. Disappearing dude

Even the smoothest operator needs to keep the home fires burning, so your relationship will be peppered with unexplained absences.

7. Homeless or husband?

If your new man always insists on going back to your place, chances are he's either shacked up with someone or (and this is possibly worse) still living with his parents. Mission abort!

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Badass Baby Dolls - Gangsta Babies

www.mezcotoyz.com

These gangster dolls have an odd appeal, in an ironic way, as they are clearly hideous. With accessories like a crown necklace, baby bling and ‘crib on board’ t-shirts, these tough little bambinos are hard not to give attention to.

They are currently available on pre-order at $113 for the set. Gangsta Babies series 1 will be available in October 2008.

I tried, but I simply couldn’t compete with the description on the Gangsta Baby website:

”Comin straight outta crib-town! Each of these 10-inch hooddlers is A-Listing in the play ground. Rockin fabtastic clothing and so much baby bling that other rug rats can only catch their vapors.”

The Series 1 set contains Pookie, “the green-eyed baller”, Benjino, the “carrot toped homey,” Rey Rey,"a playa who is #1 with all the shorties” and Big Deuce, the “lil’ shot caller.”

 

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Family Racks Up $19,370 Cell Phone Bill

www.wsbtv.com

PORTLAND, Ore. -- A Portland family racked up nearly $20,000 on their AT&T bill, local station KPTV reported.

The Terry family said they wished they would have received some kind of warning before receiving their 200-page bill in the mail for $19,370.

In July, their son headed north to Vancouver, Canada, and used a laptop with an AirCard to send photos and e-mails back home. The bill showed he used the service 21 times, but because he was out of the country, the activity added up to thousands of dollars in charges.

AT&T said the AirCard allows users to connect to e-mail, the Internet and business applications while traveling, but the company told the family that international use wasn't included in their cell phone plan.

The Terry family said they asked an AT&T employee about the service before their son left the country. They said they were told nothing about international fees.

Dave Terry also said they were never contacted by the company to be alerted of the high fees. "(We) have a bill that runs normally $250 to $300 for our cell phones," Terry said. "When AT&T saw the numbers getting over $1,000, I would think it's their responsibility to inform us that something was amiss because that card could have been stolen."

An AT&T representative said they're treating the matter seriously and looking into it. According to the company, they hope to have an answer for the family in the next few days.

Putin Tops '100 Most Powerful' List; Angelina Jolie, Steve Jobs Break Top 10<